Just finished my session at the Innovative Church Conference.
Perry Noble is up to bat. Remember, he said it I didn't :) I can't believe how many perrryisms he fit into one session!
"Pastors, I have a word from the Lord. Get rid of the preacher hair."
"I like getting sick so I can drink Nyquil."
"I was pagan of the year eight years running."
"Jesus powerwashed my soul."
"If I met one more church planter who says they can't grow because they aren't in permanent facilities I'm going to knock them out."
"I never graduated from cemetary. I mean seminary."
"Curious George books are boring. You know what would have been interesting: Curious George and the Electric Fence."
"Church ought to be the most engaging place on the planet. If the tomb is really empty we ought to act like it."
"Get out of your box or let God out of His."
"You better believe we're about numbers. Numbers represent souls."
"I think Jesus was getting ready to come back until Tim and Jerry starting writing the Left Behind series. God isn't finished reading them yet."
"We lose steeple people all the time."
"Don't shut the backdoor of the church. The church is a body. You shut the back door and you've got problems. You need a Holy Spirit enema."
"If you target the people nobody else wants you won't be able to stop from growing."
"A church is not effective when a pastor ministers to the people. A church is effective when the body ministers to the body."
"You've got a cell phone, a PDA, an XYZ. You look like flippin' Batman."
"If you're sick in the hospital I'm not coming to visit you. I hate hospitals. If I come to see you in the hospital it's bad. If I show up the dude behind me has a bag for you."
"People will sit on their blessed assurance as long as you let them."
"Your passion is not my burden."
Finally, I love the "New Spring" prayer: "Dear Jesus, Yes. Amen."
Perry Noble is up to bat. Remember, he said it I didn't :) I can't believe how many perrryisms he fit into one session!
"Pastors, I have a word from the Lord. Get rid of the preacher hair."
"I like getting sick so I can drink Nyquil."
"I was pagan of the year eight years running."
"Jesus powerwashed my soul."
"If I met one more church planter who says they can't grow because they aren't in permanent facilities I'm going to knock them out."
"I never graduated from cemetary. I mean seminary."
"Curious George books are boring. You know what would have been interesting: Curious George and the Electric Fence."
"Church ought to be the most engaging place on the planet. If the tomb is really empty we ought to act like it."
"Get out of your box or let God out of His."
"You better believe we're about numbers. Numbers represent souls."
"I think Jesus was getting ready to come back until Tim and Jerry starting writing the Left Behind series. God isn't finished reading them yet."
"We lose steeple people all the time."
"Don't shut the backdoor of the church. The church is a body. You shut the back door and you've got problems. You need a Holy Spirit enema."
"If you target the people nobody else wants you won't be able to stop from growing."
"A church is not effective when a pastor ministers to the people. A church is effective when the body ministers to the body."
"You've got a cell phone, a PDA, an XYZ. You look like flippin' Batman."
"If you're sick in the hospital I'm not coming to visit you. I hate hospitals. If I come to see you in the hospital it's bad. If I show up the dude behind me has a bag for you."
"People will sit on their blessed assurance as long as you let them."
"Your passion is not my burden."
Finally, I love the "New Spring" prayer: "Dear Jesus, Yes. Amen."
6 Comments:
It is so funny to read your blog on the conference and then read Tony Morgan's. You both are basically doing a dualistic color commentary. Too funny. In stereo.
How well attended is the conference? Have you seen anyone from Tennessee there?
Mark,
Thanks for the hysterical conference reminders....
Looking like flippin' batman was not really my original goal...
Cynthia
I think there were around 800 attendees. Lots of people from the volunteer states :)
Mark
Mark
thanks for posting the perry-isms. I was there but I didn't write them down. By the way, you did an awesome job sharing your story..the point"Enjoy the journey stuck with me."
Peace
Thank you so much for compiling this list. It's priceless. Totally priceless!
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